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The Skull Mailbox and Other Horrors

by Bob Drake

/
1.
If you take the wrong turn off that old dirt road near that town where they all went insane, there's a patch of blasted weeds where a house used to stand. First the weeds went bad, then the house crumbled in, and they were never heard from again. Some say they didn't "really" die and now they live down in the well.
2.
There's a house on Lantern Road and it's haunted. Nobody can live there, everyone that's tried to has always died inexplicably of ptomaine. "...git out while ye still can, if I was you I'd run..." And whatever you do just don't look in The Skull Mailbox.
3.
The Tower 01:05
No one ever explained why the tower that night emitted that pale effulgence, nor why all the trees all around overnight lost all of their leaves, and the squirrels and birds succumbed to some unknown, fatal disease.
4.
Out there in the cornfields many miles from the town at that farmhouse by the graveyard, it's not known how it happened but he got himself locked in the storm cellar in the backyard. Thus confined he began to brood upon his dismal fate and we can now only speculate upon the horrors which beseiged him in the darkness as he finally began to lose his mind. I don't suppose I really need to tell you that he never did get out.
5.
Down in the orchard she found an old box, which held someone's whispers, and many bones from small dead birds. She lifted the lid on the secret compartment and saw an impossible shape - it was stirring, and turning the years inside out.
6.
There will be nothing to do in the tomb except break down to dust in the gloom to a crumbling box of bones, and maybe some disembodied moans in the tomb. You'll never be along in the tomb ther'll be rats and bat, bacteria and worms they'll make sure there's nothing left, but no need to feel bereft in the tomb. If there's a "neighbor" interred in a nearby niche better hope it's not a vampire or a witch. You might end up undead, or become a phantom head in the tomb. Now some folks rot away in grand mausoleums in the fancy cemeteries you can see 'em. But most of us must be content with some trifling monument in the tomb.
7.
Gibbering and croaking, they were found in the cellar, hopelessly demented, slumping toxicly near the Shocking Efflorescence. They had crawled down there to worship it, hoping that it would "grant them powers", but it drove them mad and made them ill and then they died.
8.
Alabaster idols in their blue tiaras line the secret hall, guarding. On the turquoise sofa the hyena-thing annoints itself with attar of roses. --------------- In the darkest corner of the church, the one that's shunned, hidden by heavy, rotten velvet curtains and locked iron gates: The Reliquary That Should Not Be. (where have they gone?) Here they kept the relics deemed too ghastly or grotesque to be put on display for veneration. One day it was found the relics had vanished without a trace. The former caretaker, who is now mad, told this tale: "Well I heard a noise down there and I went to see, and saw a light comin' from the reliquary, so I looked in there... I SAW them... ASCENDING INTO HEAVEN!"
9.
...and the wig screamed “murder”...
10.
One of the worst types of hauntings are Fearsome Heads. It’s not at all unusual for people to be driven mad or die from a wasting illness after seeing a phantom head. Sometimes lacking in features or otherwise incomplete, floating in a pale greenish aura, the worst appear decomposed. There was a couple awoken one night by a curious sound from the closet. The door slowly opened and there was a luminous head and in leapt the cat! The head disappeared so did the cat’s. The couple dropped dead.
11.
“Though admittedly, frequently horrible in the extreme, the fearsome floating head is not always a portent of any serious happening. BUT, it’s intention is doubtless harmful, and if able to remain in the house may fulfill some evil design.”
12.
I woke up strapped to a bed in this institution for the deranged after being found half unconscious barely alive outside the wall of the Horrible Garden. It’s a place that should not be and no one can look upon it and live nobody knows who (or what) planted it. I caught just a glimpse when I stupidly peeked in through a crack in the stone wall of the Horrible Garden. So they brought me here to this home for the deranged and these next few hours shall be my last. They say “it’s just a dream” and sedate me when I start to scream about what I saw in the Horrible Garden.
13.
No one lived or remained sane enough to tell the tale of exactly what went wrong at the Terrible Mortuary. It was closed down after the staff went mad. The one who survived claimed that all of them had “seen something”...something in a field, near the Accursed Crematorium.
14.
You feel yourself being pulled upstairs against your will up to the attic, I hate to say why. Don't try to fight it, you can't outwit that thing. We all tried resisting when our time came, but it's no use it's gonna suck your mind and soul like a juice. Don't try to fight it, you can't outwit that thing. "interesting architecture up there isn't it, hallways goin' nowhere, doors openin' onto nothin' but empty blackness...now listen - don't try to fight it, we all tried when our time came".
15.
16.
They only sold statues that shrieked in the night, moved on their own, wept, gibbered or bled. Some of them were proportioned in ways vaguely disturbing, or had been apported by spirits to a dismal seance room. Some displayed stigmata, alarming facial expressions, or disurbing attitudes not to be described. Others were said to be haunted for all the previous owners always suffered grave misfortune and ended up insane.
17.
It 01:00
18.
It was standing by the window in that squamous empty house. As I walked past there, I SAW IT, now I’ll never be sane anymore.
19.
On that fateful day in the seance room something terrible came to pass. For the medium, who was fraudulent, was in fact that time entranced. Something unexpected and equally ininvited materialized itself amongst them with unspeakable appetites and unfortunately for them all, it was very hungry.
20.
21.
Calla Lilly 01:57
MY LOVE IS LIKE A CALLA LILLY!
22.
Transfigured marble rose shows vague psychic photographs of nothing levitating ideoplasts. Organs of speech maybe materialized in old speaking tubes veiled in spirit drapery. Usually, when an appartion is not fully formed, and should not be viewed by human eyes, spirit drapery veils the hiatus. ----------- The facial expressions of the subjects on display were: "distinctly open to criticism." Their effect was somehow horrid, so they locked them all away in the attic of an old abandoned house. The hideous portraits. -------------------- ????
23.
The gaslights never worked and the windows didn't seem to admit enough daylight to dispel the pall of gloom which perpetually clung to and filled the Crepuscular Vestibule. They say that anyone who spends the night inside will end up imbecilic, if they're still alive. So it's highly recommended that you shun the Crepuscular Vestibule.
24.
You feel yourself being pulled upstairs against your will up to the attic, I have to say why. Don't try to fight it, you can't outwit that thing.
25.
There were hundreds of rooms in the abandoned, crumbling edifice all were empty except for one which contained, among other things, an old spirit cabinet and a table strewn with dried-up flowers. Then I noticed something regarding me from a tattered chair...a kind of a monstrous weasel... and it told me something... it wanted....to... HAVE A LITTLE PARTY!

about

Written, performed, and recorded by BD, October 1999 - September 2000 at home, Caudeval, France.
Artwork: Nick Hvostik.
Lyrics for "The Box in the Orchard": Tim Gadd.

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released May 1, 2001

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Bob Drake Caudeval, France

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